Time is a strange thing.  As I sit here today writing this, the past year feels like it went past in a flash.  But throughout the year itself, time seemed to stretch on like an eternity.  The specific level of abstraction you choose to reflect on will determine how you experience time. 

As such, I think it’s a valuable exercise to sit down once a year and review how the past 12 months have gone in your life.  It’s a perfect opportunity to diagnose things that aren’t working, celebrate the things that are, and re-align your life with the direction you want to be going in.

Without this reflection, we risk being dragged along by the whims of others and ignoring our own dreams, desires, and choices – until it’s too late.   The words of Socrates words ring in my ears here: “An unexamined life is not worth living”.  I think that we would all benefit from some more structured self-reflection to identify those things that really matter to us, in the midst of the trivial.  I think the pandemic has forced some of this for many of us, but we can’t rely on these sorts of external circumstances.  It has to be something that becomes part of our normal operating procedures.

I’ve done a detailed annual review for some years now but have typically kept it to myself.  However, having been inspired by people like Tiago Forte, Anne-Laure Le Canff, and others who share their reviews publicly – I’ve decided to publish mine for the first time. 

It feels icky to do so because I know they tend to come across as slightly egotistical or self-aggrandizing, but I hope you can see this for what it is.  It’s one man’s attempt to inspire others to reflect on their own lives, and hopefully share some of the lessons I learned, for whatever they are worth.

With all that out of the way, let’s dive into what my 2021 looked like.

The Good

Let’s start with the positives because life is short.

2021 was an incredible year for me.  I achieved more this year than in perhaps any other throughout my life and that’s extremely strange to admit in the midst of a pandemic-ridden year that has been so devastating for so many people.  But it’s the truth.  And I’m trying to get better at celebrating when things go well.

1.     I launched and grew my own business. 

I have been a ‘wantrepreneur’ for most of my life.  I’ve always been really good at talking about new ideas, starting with them, but I’ve always struggled to make something substantive with them.  I’ve felt that in many cases I have self-sabotaged my entrepreneurial efforts and have been fearful of what it might look like to actually try. 

This year, I finally broke that negative self-talk and built a business that I’m actually insanely proud of.  When I started this year I set myself what I thought was an ambitious target, but in truth, I wasn’t dreaming big enough.  By making this my number one priority and putting a lot of my other side projects on hold, I built a business that is way bigger than I thought was possible.

It wasn’t easy by any stretch of the imagination.  I have worked 7 days a week this entire year on my business.  I can count on my fingers the number of days where I was completely disconnected.  And it certainly hasn’t been healthy in that regard.  But it was necessary to get the momentum going and I’m confident that I’ll be able to find more balance in 2022.

What’s most exciting is the freedom I feel in having a business vehicle where all the returns come to me.  By working for myself, the rewards of my hard work are imminently tangible and direct.  And while it’s emotionally draining to constantly live in uncertainty, it’s an adventure that has captured my soul. 

This year has reminded me of why I wanted to be an entrepreneur in the first place, and I can’t wait to see what I can do in the coming years.

(I’m well aware that I’m being very vague here about the nature of the business itself.  I haven’t actually made any public announcements about it yet – because I didn’t want to get distracted by merely talking about it – and rather focus all of my efforts on growing it.  But fear not dear reader, I will start to share more about it soon.)

2.     I built strong foundations for my relationship.

I’m going to keep this very brief because I want to keep this part private, but I couldn’t not acknowledge the impact that having a strong, supportive partner has had on all the things I’ve accomplished this year.  Especially because of the emotional baggage that I carried in from my prior relationship.  It’s safe to say that the whirlwind romance that has enveloped me this year continues to give me the strength, courage, and energy to tackle everything else in my life.

I’ve learned that having the right partner to walk the path with you makes the good days brighter and the bad days manageable.  I don’t know how I would have gotten through this year without it.

I am so incredibly grateful and cannot wait to see where this goes.

3.     I moved into my own apartment.

Over the past couple of years, I’ve flitted about from place to place with different roommate setups, spending some time at my parents’ place, and generally just treating my home as a short-term solution for the most part.  As such, I’ve never really had the adult experience of furnishing a flat, building a home, and all that comes with it.

Just a month ago, I embarked on this for the first time, and it’s been so incredibly exciting.  Thanks to the success of my business I’ve been able to move into my own apartment and have started the journey of making it my own.  I now know much more about dining room chairs, scatter cushions, rugs, and such things than I ever thought I would.

And while some of it has been stressful, it is so fulfilling to have a space that you can call your own – where you can build a life on your own principles.  I have no doubt that this apartment will help me grow next year and hopefully it acts as the inflection point for the next phase of my life. 

4.     I got my confidence back.

2019 and 2020 were very dark years for me.  Dealing with a devastating breakup, the implosion of the start-up that I worked at, and the global pandemic all contributed to a period where I struggled with a state of depression that I had never experienced before.  All my life I’ve been happy, optimistic, full of energy, and confident about who I am.  But for those two years, I lost that in myself.  And I wasn’t sure I would ever get it back.

Thankfully, it did.  And I as I write this, I feel more like myself than I have in a long time.  My self-confidence has returned, and my general mental health is in a much better position than it was.

I still have my days where my mind gets on top of me, but for the most part – the ambition, energy, and optimism have returned.

What I’ve learned from this is that we will all go through different seasons in our lives.  And when we are in our darkest moments, we have to try and remember that this too shall pass and that we will emerge into the light once again.  You might not be able to see it in the moment, but trust in the process and keep fighting on.  Things will turn around. 

5.     I started ballroom dancing lessons.

One of the most enjoyable and rewarding things that I did this year was to start ballroom dancing lessons with my girlfriend.  It’s something I’ve always wanted to try and this year we took it upon ourselves to actually make it happen for real.

It’s honestly been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.  I think it’s the combination of three things that make it so transformative:

• Learning a new skill is exciting and novel – especially when you’re just doing it for enjoyment, rather than as a means towards an end.

• Dancing is about being present.  If you are worried about something else in your life, you won’t be listening to the music and you won’t be leading your partner effectively.  When I’m dancing, the rest of the world disappears for an hour.

• Having an hour to stare into the eyes of the one that you love and hold them close is one of the most intimate experiences I’ve ever had the pleasure of having.  It’s an hour a week where we can indulge in the romance that is ballroom dancing and reconnect with our relationship.  It’s magical.
  

Trust me, just try it.  And thank me later.

(Thank you Stacey for the nudge.)

6.     I authored and submitted my very first AI policy paper.

For a number of years now I have been fascinated by the advancements in artificial intelligence and that’s where I’ve been trying to move my career.  I’ve invested an immense amount of time into learning and upskilling myself so that I contribute to the important ethical discussions that we need to have as a society as we integrate this powerful technology. 

This year, I was invited to submit a policy paper for an upcoming conference and research project – which is a huge step in the right direction.  I poured my heart and soul into the paper and I’m excited to see what happens with it in 2022.  But even if it doesn’t resonate, it’s proof that I can contribute to this conversation and it’s confirmation that this is the direction I want to be heading in.

7.     I made my very first angel investment.

I’d love to be active as an investor and start-up advisor, and so making my very first angel investment this year was a great way to start.  I’ve learned an incredible amount from the whole experience and while I can’t share any specific details publicly – I hope that it’s the first of many of these sorts of deals.

I’m looking forward to directing a larger proportion of my income next year to more angel investing, with the hope that I can find a couple of gems.

The Bad, and the Ugly

Now let’s look through some of the disappointments that 2021 brought, and what I learned from them.

1.     I read very few books this year.

Reading books is incredibly important to me and I credit it with everything that I have achieved and everything that has made me who I am.  Books have singlehandedly changed my life.  And yet, in 2021, I have only read 9 books which is way below where I’d like to be.

The standard excuse I’ve been giving myself is that because the business has taken up so much of my time, I simply haven’t had the time to read.  But in truth, that is just an excuse.  I’ve spent plenty of time scrolling through social media feeds that should have been better utilized.  I simply didn’t make my reading a priority this year.

That’s ok though.  I am determined to rectify that for the year to come.

2.     I continued to struggle with a sugar addiction.

One of the things I’ve really struggled with in recent years has been an unhealthy relationship with sugar.  I tend to be very impulsive when it comes to my eating habits and whenever I felt sad, stressed, or uncomfortable this year – I turned to chocolate, desserts, and sugary beverages.

As a result, I’m more out of shape than I’ve ever been.  I went through a rather emotional experience when getting ready for a wedding this year and I realized that I didn’t fit into my suit anymore.  In fact, many of my clothes are now too small for me.  That really hurt, I’ll be honest.  And it stings to this day when I look into the mirror.

I need to break the cycle of using sugar as a coping mechanism when I’m bored, distracted, or emotional.  Not just for the way that I look, but also for my long-term health.  I’m determined to restructure my eating habits and try to repair my relationship with myself.  It’s incredibly damaging to my mental health when I break promises to myself and it’s really not worth the 30 seconds of pleasure that I get from a chocolate bar.

Lots of work to do here.

3.     I lost touch with a number of friends.

It’s hard to diagnose how much of this is just the nature of getting older, but I’ve lost touch with a number of friends this year as our lives continue to diverge.  I’ve never been good on my phone and so the lack of in-person events has also contributed to this – because I’m not super responsive via text.

I’m acutely aware of the fact that the quality of my relationships is the most important factor for long-term fulfilment.  And so, the lack of investment that I’ve made here this year is a problem.  Keeping up with friends on social media is not a substitute.  And it can actually cause harm because it gives you the impression of connection but in reality – it remains shallow and hollow.

Another thing that I’ve recognized in myself is a resentment that grows when a friend isn’t putting in the effort that I would expect of them to keep our relationship going.  But this is really silly and is a proper victim mentality.  I don’t like that I think like that sometimes.  I want to strive to go first and invest in the relationships that I want to maintain without expecting things in return.

4.     I spent way too much time on social media.

Social media continues to perplex me.  I know it makes my life worse and yet I can’t seem to escape its grasp.  It’s just so convenient to have a continually updating slot machine that I can pull up at any time and get that dopamine hit that I need when I’m procrastinating on something that is actually important.

I’ve toyed with the idea of deleting everything but a small part of me still wants to use the platforms for branding and marketing myself – so I can share the stuff that I’m working on.  So, if I was just using it to create and promote, that would be fine.  But that’s not what happens.  I end up consuming tons and tons of junk that is just not worth the time. 

I’m not sure exactly how I plan to tackle this in 2022, but it’s something I’m very aware of.

Favourite Media of the Year

These are some of the books, movies, and other media that I have loved this year:     

• Four Thousand Weeks – Oliver Burkeman.  This book hit me in the gut.  I’ve been deep in the productivity community for a long time and this book has helped me pull myself out of it a bit.  It’s a wonderful meditation on why most time management advice is harmful and is a great reminder of what really matters.  My favourite book of the year.

• Lost Connections – Johann Hari.  This book has some of the clearest and most accommodating discussions about depression that I’ve ever read.  I found so much solace in this and it changed my views on mental health significantly.  I think it deserves more attention than it’s received.  It’s a masterpiece.

• The Futur.  I discovered Chris Do and The Futur this year – and their content transformed how I think about my business.  They help creatives and entrepreneurs build businesses with integrity and have been instrumental in helping me navigate the murky waters of freelancing and client services more generally.  Start with their YouTube channel and if you find value, you can dig in further to what they do.

• Sex Education.  This feel-good show on Netflix completely upended my expectations.  What looks like a simple teen story has some of the most fascinating character development of any show today.  I thoroughly enjoyed Season 1 and 2 and can’t wait to dig into Season 3 when I finally get a TV for my new apartment.

• Silk Sonic.  Bruno Mars is a musical prodigy and when he combines with Anderson .Paak it is bound to be special.  Silk Sonic’s retro style, self-aware humour, and stunning vocals make this my favourite musical find of the year.

Where To From Here?

I have no idea whether anything here has been useful for you, but hopefully, there was some value in something I’ve mentioned above.  Most importantly, I want to emphasize how powerful this can be if you do this for yourself.  You don’t have to share it publicly or anything, but hard-fought reflection on your past year is paramount if you want to continue growing as a person and you want to hold yourself accountable for the life you’re trying to create.

If you enjoyed this, please do let me know so I can get a sense as to whether I should be publishing these sorts of things more often.  Specifically, I’m planning to release a 2022 goals post as well, if this resonates with people.

If you’d like to stay in the loop for that and everything else I’m busy with, the best option is to subscribe to my newsletter.  Come join the family!

2021, I bid you goodbye.

Thank you for everything.