In keeping with a rather inconsistent tradition, I thought it might be pertinent to share some things  I’ve learned about this thing called life - as I reflect on my 28th year on this floating rock.  As I type this, the world has never seemed more uncertain and the past 24 months of my life have amongst the most difficult I’ve ever experienced.  Yet, I remain optimistic to a fault and I choose to see what has happened in recent times as the inevitable arc for a kick-ass redemption story.  I’ve learned an awful lot about myself and through all the soul-searching, I hope that, if nothing else, I can remember to be kinder to myself going forward.

Without any further ado, here are 28 reflections on life that hopefully will give you some food for thought and will give me a time capsule to look back upon one day.

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1. Enthusiasm is a superpower.  We’ve gotten so cynical, so negative, so underwhelmed.  We must change that.  If we choose to be in rapturous awe of what’s around us, no matter how seemingly insignificant, we can capture the childlike wonder that we’ve let slip away as adulthood takes its toll.  Be enthusiastic and you will live a happier life.

2. Listen to those who disagree with you.  I’m so cognisant of the risks of surrounding yourself only with people who think like you and it’s getting even more concerning in today’s social media circles.  By going out of your way to listen and actually understand the point of view of someone who disagrees with you, you will realise that you most likely have some glaring gaps in your own thinking that are holding you back.  Intellectual humility is everything.

3. Keep learning.  The scale of online learning resources these days is incredible and it represents such tremendous opportunities for growth.  Yet so many of us don’t take advantage of it.  It doesn’t have to be productive or even related to what you’re doing professionally.  It’s just a nod towards the mindset that you can continue to grow as a human being.  By turning just a portion of your Netflix time into time where you learn something new - you can keep yourself sharp and continue creating new neural connections for your whole life.

4. Gratitude is a skill that you can improve.  There has been a lot of psychological research in this field and it really does work.  By intentionally working on being more grateful for what you have, you can unlock tremendous benefits for your sanity and appreciation of life.  It’s a practice, not a state of mind.

5. If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.  So much of life is an exercise in surrounding yourself with the right people and the more you can put yourself in positions to learn from those who are better than you at x, y or z - the better.  Don’t get comfortable being a big fish in a small pond.

6. Go first.  Instead of waiting for that person to message you or ask you out or start that thing, just do it yourself.  We’ve been sold this idea that going first looks desperate and therefore is weak - and that’s nonsense.  Be the person who goes first and you’ll have so many more cool experiences than the person who waits for things to happen to them.

7. Don’t take rejection personally.  9/10 times that person is busy, preoccupied or distracted and it has absolutely nothing to do with you.  Ask without expectation and if you get rejected, find another way.  There’s no use in wasting energy and mental bandwidth feeling sorry for yourself.  Life is too short.

8. Be on time.  Always.  Don’t let society’s normalisation of flakiness affect you.  Being punctual is the ultimate sign of respect and it’s so easy to do.  Make it a habit.

9. Be interested, rather than interesting.  The more curious you are about other people, the more interesting they will find you.  Become genuinely obsessed with understanding what others care about and you’ll open up a whole new world of possibility.

10. Save money consistently.  If this pandemic has shown us anything, it’s that a regular saving routine can be lifesaving.  It doesn’t matter how much, it matters that you do it.  Automate it and don’t touch it, ever.

11.  Just show up.  Even if you feel inadequate, underprepared or nervous - show up and see what happens.  You’ll be surprised at what serendipity delivers when you get off the couch and get into the arena.

12. Fail often.  If everything is going perfectly and you’re not failing at anything, you’re not pushing yourself enough.  There’s no growth to be found in staying solely in your comfort zone.  Try something new.  Fall on your face.  Dust yourself off and go again.

13. You are what you do, not what you say.  Let your actions speak to your character, not your words.  Lip service is so transparently obvious to everyone around you and it doesn’t do you any good.  Instead, focus on making the next step towards whatever you’re working on and don’t look for applause for it.  Keep doing.

14. Don’t waste a crisis.  Everyone will go through torment, anguish, heartbreak, illness, loss and a range of other crises during their lifetime.  Instead of asking ‘Why me?’, ask ‘How can I use this crisis?’  What can you learn?  How can you turn this into your redemption story?  It’s all about your mindset.

15. Experiences are more valuable than things.  Be wary of buying objects to win you social status.  Rather spend your time and money on experiences that bring you joy - and keep the stories as souvenirs.  Other people are thinking about you way less than you think they are.

16. Be an optimist.  It doesn’t matter if it’s true or not.  Choosing to be an optimist will make your life immeasurably better - it’s as simple as that.  Do whatever you need to do to make yourself believe in a positive future for the world and for yourself.

17. Don’t compare yourself to others.  The greatest source of our anxiety is our unfair comparisons with our peers.  What you’re seeing of their lives is just a highlights reel and is not comparable to the good, bad and the ugly of your life.  Focus on making yourself 1% better than you were yesterday, rather than trying to match your progress to a friend of yours on Instagram.

18. Make art.  Draw, write, paint, sing, dance, speak, code, do whatever you can to ignite your creativity and imagination.  We’re told this lie that everything we do has to be economically productive and it’s a shame.  Art can reinvigorate your soul and it doesn’t even have to be any good.  It just has to be your unique expression.

19. Exercise every day.  It doesn’t matter what it is but move your body and your mind will feel clearer.  So much of our mental suffering can be attributed to a stagnant body.  Get up and move.

20.  Laugh at yourself.  Laugh at the absurdities of your unique humanness.  Laugh at the things you suck at.  Laugh at your harrowing mistakes.  Laugh at the person you used to be.

21. Read books.  I’ve harped on this for years now - the power of reading books cannot be understated.  It’s the single most impactful habit you can build and it will change your life if you take it seriously.

22.  Listen, without planning what you’re going to say next.  Be present in your conversations and take your time to respond.  Don’t get caught in the trap where you have to get through your set of talking points that you’ve planned in advance.  Listen carefully and authentically because that’s the right thing to do.

23. Learn to identify your cognitive biases.  Do the necessary self-reflection to see patterns of error-ridden thinking so you can make better decisions going forward.  You might not be able to avoid them entirely, but mere awareness of them will make you a much better thinker.

24.  Speak truth.  Just tell the truth, always.  Speak authentically.  The world desperately needs honest articulation and you can be a part of that mission.

25. Be kind to others.  You have no idea what they are going through behind the scenes.  Seek to be kind in every interaction you have and you’ll be amazed at how the shields drop and you can engage with the true humanity.

26. Be kind to yourself.  I really suck at this one.  Be aware of the self-talk that you use to degrade yourself and your experience.  Treat yourself like you would a friend, because if you don’t - who else will?

27.  Abstinence is easier than moderation.  If you want to get rid of something in your life, a no-tolerance rule is much easier to achieve than a diet of moderation.  Rip off the bandaid, burn the boats and let it become part of your identity.

28.  Tell people you love them.  Don’t hide from those words, express it every chance you get.  You never know how much time you have left.

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I hope its abundantly clear that I’m no expert in any of these, but they are the types of things I’m working on to try and be a better human being.  Maybe they can be a reminder for you too.

Here’s to another year around the sun.

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